dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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