Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
handjob tips. give me some.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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