how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
