I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.