i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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