I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
