Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
it hurts more in the daytime
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
