batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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