Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
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Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
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The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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