i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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