Plan B is the new Plan A
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Randomize
