Moan for me like Helen Keller
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I am one with the molecules
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
