It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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