he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
