We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
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