She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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