We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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