you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
