Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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