Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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