nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
its not stalking. its research.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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