why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
