WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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