I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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