Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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