he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
