I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
