in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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