I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Well I just put wine in my tea
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
