I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She's the barista slut.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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