Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
