what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
