lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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