Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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