I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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