I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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