Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
