There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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