OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
