O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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