i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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