could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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