I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
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