i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
My vagina is very pro this idea
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
