he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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