Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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