you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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