My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
