Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
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Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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