He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
tell me about the eggs
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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