forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
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Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
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I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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