I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
