He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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