what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
