didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
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