Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
