did you get engaged???
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
